Rat monkey depression

I am depressed.

This is the point when you either read on or leave this website or watch the video below, then leave.

Yes, I am depressed today. Even the video above doesn't cheer me up. I won't go into the reasons behind this depression - there are just too many, and they are probably irrational anyways. When you are depressed, well, when I am depressed, I am tired, unmotivated, bored. I feel like time is slowed down - everyone's minding their own business and probably having fun, while I sulk... in my bedroom... all day. I haven't done much today - I woke up very late, took a shower, ate, sat, ate. So yeah, not a good day today.

Depression. Depressed. Logically speaking, they should be happy words. Pressed is like stressed, and depressed seems like you are relieved. But no, it's a sad sad word. Anyways, when you are depressed, you also don't know what you talking about. You have bad dreams. I've dreamt about having to do essays for homework for two nights in a row - and they are english literature ones too! How screwed up is this? I don't even take english literature anymore - and for some twisted reason they haunt me in my dreams.

Let me check the dictionary to see whether I am actually depressed:

• noun
1 severe despondency and dejection, especially when long-lasting and accompanied by physical symptoms.
2 a long and severe recession in an economy or market.
3 the action of depressing.
4 a sunken place or hollow.
5 Meteorology a cyclonic weather system.

I think I could ignore two to five. But what the hell is despondency and dejection! God damn it!

despondent
• adjective in low spirits from loss of hope or courage.

dejection
• verb sadness or low sprits.

Well, I am kind of despondent in a way - low spirits definitely, don't know if I have loss of hope/courage though. Hope for what? I have nothing to hope for! Dejection - yes.

So I am definitely depressed. And this is going to last for quite a long time. Until something drastic happens - I mean when I win a lottery ten times in a row as opposed to experiencing a car crash.

Nobody said there was going to be a good ending!

Bye!

Edit: Not so depressed anymore. :)

Tutoring - Day #1 and #2

Well it was (Feb 6, 2007) officially my first day of tutoring, i.e. I get paid for it. My tutoree/student is my neighbour, and it is going to be on a daily-one hour basis.

And, well so far it was crap. Better than expected. Actually you know what - maybe for a nine year old, it's quite good. He's polite but extremely hyperactive - so it seems that more than half of what I say to him goes out the other ear. What I mean by hyperactive: throwing basketballs, blowing air with his basketball pump, playing with his sportsband - you love basketball - I get it!

Right now, I am teaching him English, Maths and General studies. Wow! I must say kids these days learn a lot of things! Too much too soon, in fact. For example, in general studies, he already learns about annular solar eclipses and refraction of light! And in maths - manipulation (addition/multiplication all of that) of decimals and fractions? That's what we did in secondary school - not in primary?!


My rule of thumb: Less is MORE.


So yeah, he's not doing very well - and I can understand why. Duh? How can he absorb all that information. There must be something wrong with the syllabus. And the teaching at school too. He says (let's call him David from now on) that he must follow exactly what the textbook (word for word) says or else the teacher will mark him wrong. What kind of learning is that? Copy and paste? Okay, you might be smarter than most people your age (compared to say, the ones in international school - he goes to a local school) in terms of lots of knowledge - but as soon as I change the wording of a question (from the textbook) he would be like "Huh? I don't know! It's not even in the textbook!" And by the way, I am not blaming the students - I am blaming the teachers and education board in general.


Maybe I am expecting too much. But maybe I'm not. Education nowadays is getting worse, and creativity and thinking-out-of-the-box are deminishing. A lot.

No wonder why most children nowadays don't want to go to school.

Well, I guess this is where I come in. We'll see how things go.